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英語雙語幽默小故事
1. A second
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒鐘
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話。他問："主啊,一百萬美元對你意味著多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又問："那一百萬年呢？"上帝說："一秒鐘"。最后男子請求道："上帝,我能得到一便士嗎？"上帝回答："過一秒鐘"
2.Cat and Mice Mrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.
貓和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友,她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。"盒子里裝的是什么？"朋友問道。"一只小貓"布朗夫人回答說,"你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠,我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。""可老鼠都是假想的呀。"朋友說。"小貓也是假想的。"布朗夫人小聲說道。
3.The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it."Two pence," said the man."No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave."A penny." said the barber."I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
賣掃帚的人和理發(fā)師
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理發(fā)店修面。理發(fā)師向他買了一把掃帚。當理發(fā)師給他修完面后,問了一下掃帚的價錢。賣掃帚的人說："兩便士""不,不"理發(fā)師說,"我只出一便士,如果你認為不夠的話,可以把掃帚拿回去。"賣掃帚的人取回了掃帚,隨后問修面要付多少錢。賣掃帚的人說："我只能給你半個便士,如果你認為不夠的話,你可以把胡子再替我裝上。"
4.Weigh your son
An irritated woman burst into the baker's shop and said:"I sent my son in for 2 pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied:"Madam, I suggest you weigh your son."
稱一稱您的兒子
一個女人怒氣沖沖的闖進面包店,說："今早上我讓我兒子買了2磅的餅干,但是當我稱它們的時候卻只有一磅了。我覺得你的稱有問題"。面包師鎮(zhèn)定的看了看女人,說："女士,我覺得您該回去稱一稱您的兒子。"
5.Infected ?
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
"孩子,你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？"
"沒有,老師�？墒悄阕蛱煺f你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進,一個耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。"
6.Seeing a dentist
"I'm sorry,Madam,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth ."
"Twenty dollars! Why,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"
"Yes,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office ."
"對不起,夫人,為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。"
"20美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元。"
"是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四個病人嚇跑了。"
7.Elevator A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
一個鄉(xiāng)下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走進一座大樓,看見一個歲數(shù)很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨后關上,有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒,門開了,電梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
鄉(xiāng)下人驚奇地眨著眼睛,慢吞吞地說："我應該把我的老婆帶來!"
8.An excellent choice
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one。
Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam.You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!"
To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
最佳選擇
一位婦女到一家帽子店買帽子。她很挑剔,用了很長時間才選好了一頂。
已經(jīng)忍耐到極限的售貨員害怕她再改變主意,便恭維她："你做了極好的選擇,夫人。你戴上這頂帽子看上去起碼年輕十歲！"
但令他沮喪的是,這位女士馬上摘下了她的帽子說："我不想要一頂摘下來便使我立刻顯得老十歲的帽子。多拿一些帽子給我看看！"
9.The cheese The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir,"replied the boy.
奶酪
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時,家里沒有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子.過了一會兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤子里.客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說："孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?" "在捕鼠夾上,先生."那小男孩說.
10. Jim's History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.吉姆的歷史考試
舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？
母親：唉,糟透了�？稍捰终f回來,這也不能怪他。嗨,他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
11.A good box of matches
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,"Did you buy a good box of matches?" "Yes,Mum."Tommy replied,"I have tried them all."
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴.湯米回來后,媽媽問他,"你買的是好用的火柴嗎?"
"是的,媽媽."湯米回答,"我把它們都試過了."
12. Kangaroos and the Cage
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters. Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters. Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, "Do you think they will go on raising your cage?" "Hard to say," said a kangaroo, "if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door."
袋鼠與籠子
有一天,動物園的管理員們發(fā)現(xiàn)袋鼠從籠子里跑出來了,于是開會討論,一致認為是籠子的高度過低,所以他們決定將籠子的高度由原來的1米加高到2米。結果第二天他們發(fā)現(xiàn),袋鼠還是跑到外面來,所以他們又決定再將高度加高到3米。
沒想到隔天居然又看到袋鼠全跑到外面,于是管理員們大為緊張,決定一不做二不休,將籠子的高度加高到10米。
一天,長頸鹿和幾只袋鼠在閑聊,"你們看,這些人會不會再繼續(xù)加高你們的籠子?"長頸鹿問。
"很難說。"袋鼠說,"如果他們再繼續(xù)忘記關門的話!"
13. The Wind And The Sun
One day the wind said to the sun, "Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can." "We will see about that," said the sun. "I will let you try first." So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself. "I give up," said the wind at last. "I cannot get his cloak off." Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.風和太陽
有一天風跟太陽說: "看看那個沿著路上走的人.我可以比你快讓他把披風脫下來.
"我們等著看吧,"太陽說, "我讓你先試.
因此風嘗試讓那個人把披風脫下來.他用力地吹,可是那個人把披風拉得更緊.
"我放棄了,"風最后說, "我無法讓他把披風脫下來."然后由太陽試試看.他盡可能地曬他.不久,那個人很熱就把披風脫下來了. 14.The Thirsty Pigeon
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders. Zeal should not outrun discretion.
口渴的鴿子
有只鴿子口渴得很難受,看見畫板上畫著一個水瓶,以為是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飛過去,不料一頭碰撞在畫板上,折斷了翅膀,摔在地上,被人輕易地捉住了。
這是說,有些人想急于得到所需的東西,一時沖動,草率從事,就會身遭不幸。
15.The Raven and the Swan
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished. Change of habit cannot alter Nature.
烏鴉和天鵝
烏鴉非常羨慕天鵝潔白的羽毛。他猜想天鵝一定是經(jīng)常洗澡,羽毛才變得如此潔白無瑕。于是,他毅然離開了他賴以生存的祭壇,來到江湖邊。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛,不但一點都沒洗白,反而因缺少食物饑餓而死。
這故事是說,人的本性不會隨著生活方式的改變而改變。
16.The Goat and the Goatherd
A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I am silent." Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.
山羊與牧羊人
很多山羊被牧羊人趕到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好東西,單獨落在后面。牧羊人拿起一塊石頭扔了過去,正巧打斷了山羊的一只角。牧羊人嚇得請求山羊不要告訴主人,山羊說："即使我不說,又怎能隱瞞下去呢？我的角已斷了,這是十分明顯的事實。
17. Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步,突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道："汪,汪,汪",貓聽了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說："現(xiàn)在你知道外語的重要性了吧。
18. Good use of cry哭的妙用
The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them"you'll have to go out if your son cries .But we'll refund you the tickets. " About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife." What do you think of the film?" "I've never seen such a boring film."His wife answered
"It's not worth seeing.I don't think much of it either." The husband said,"Wake the child up and let him cry."
對夫婦帶著他們3歲的兒子去看電影。進電影院時,服務員對他們說:"如如果你們的
兒子哭了,你們就得出去。不過我們會給你們退票的。"大約半個小時以后,丈夫對
妻子說:"你覺得這電影怎么樣?"我從沒看過這么沒勁的電影。"妻子回答說,"真不
值得看。""我也不喜歡看。"丈夫說:"叫醒他,讓他哭。"
19. What a Smart Wife家有笨妻
A newly married woman was sitting on a chair.,looking vexed, when her husband came Home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and burned a hole in your trousers. And the man said "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same" "Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair" the wife responded.有一個剛結婚的太太,坐在椅子那邊,看起來很懊惱,她先生回家看到她這個樣
子,就問:嗨,你怎么啦?為什么看起來這么懊惱呢?＇太太說:很抱歉,你那件新
做的西裝褲被我燙壞了,燙成一個洞了。他先生說:啊!那個沒關系啦!我還有另外一件一樣的褲子。她說:"是啊,還好我把那件新的拿出來補那件被我燙壞的。"
20.Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
進步
一位學生對另一位說："你的英語最近學的怎么樣？"
"很好，我過去不懂英國人說話，可現(xiàn)在是英國人不懂我的話了。"
21.Half or Five Tenths?
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
半個還是十分之五
老師：你愿意要半個柑橘，還是十分之五個柑橘？
杰拉得：我寧可要半個。
老師：仔細想想，說出理由來。
杰拉得：因為你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就損失太多。
22.There comes Tiger Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."老虎來了
兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一只老虎出現(xiàn)在遠處，向他們沖來。
其中的一個人從包里拿出一雙“耐克”鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看著他說，“你以為穿上這個就可以跑得過老虎嗎？”
他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
23 Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了�！� “可是，爸爸，”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
24. The Coyote and the Rabbit
Long ago, Coyote met Rabbit in the woods."I can run as fast as the wind."
Coyote bragged. "I am the fastest animal. ""I can run fast, too, "said Rabbit."let's have a race, "said Coyote. "I am faster than you. So I will win the race. " Rabbit wanted to win, but he knew Coyote ran faster. So Rabbit asked his brothers for help. "Help me take Coyote, "said Rabbit. "Then I can run win the race." The race was the next day. Rabbit said ,"I will run underground. " "That is fun. I run faster than you,"bragged Coyote."So I will win ."The race began. Coyote dashed off! Rabbit jumped into a hole. Coyote ran very fast. Then he stopped to rest. A rabbit came out of a hole ahead of him. "Hello Coyote!" It was one of rabbit's brothers. But Coyote didn't know
that .Coyote ran faster. Then he stopped to rest. A rabbit came out of a hole ahead of him. "Look at me ,Coyote!" It was another one of Rabbit's brothers. But Coyote didn't know that. Coyote ran even faster. Then he stopped to rest again. A rabbit came out of a hole ahead of him. "Here I am ,Coyote!" It was another one of Rabbit's brothers, but Coyote didn't know that. So Coyote ran. He ran as fast as the wind. Rabbit ran, too. He ran out of the last hole. Coyote saw Rabbit win the race! "I win!" Rabbit and his brothers laughed and laughed.And Coyote never bragged again! 25. Ready for anything!
Dark arrived at that Racccon's house on a bright, sunny day." Hey, Raccoon!" said Duck."Are you ready for our picnic?" Umm, well… I changed my mind. "said Raccoon. "I don't want to go." "Why not?" asked Duck . "Well I've been thinking. "said Raccoon. "What if we attacked by killer bees?" "No…, "said Duck. "Yeah ,"said Raccoon." And what if they chase us, you know, and we fall into a river?" Oh, no. "cried Duck. Oh, yeah." said Raccoon. "And what if we swim for our lives, but a terrible storm strikes. Oh, no!Oh, no!"yelled Duck." Oh, yeah!Oh,yeah!"Raccoon went on. "And what if we look for shelter in a cave, but there is already someone in there, someone really scary?" "Like …like who?" asked Duck ."A DRAGON!!!!!"shouted Raccoon. "AAAAAaaa!" they both screamed …and they hid under a blanket. "It could happen, you know." Raccoon warned."Picnics are dangerous. " "You are right." Duck thought about it for a while."But Raccoon …what if some lovely butterflies pass by instead of bees?" "Hmm,that would be nice." said Raccoon." Yes."said Duck."And what if we follow the butterflies to the river and jump in for a cool splash?" "That would be even nicer ."Raccoon answered. "Yes ,much nicer ."Duck said. "And what if the weather is beautiful, with just a gentle breeze blowing? We could fly a kite !" Gee,that sounds like fun!" Raccoon admitted. "A lot of fun!"Duck said. "And then ,we might find a cave to explore." " Don't go in!" Raccoon shouted. "There is a fire-breathing dragon in there! Remember? " "Maybe. "said Duck. "But what if it's just a cute little dragon who wants to play with us?" "You think? "said Raccoon. "Sure. "said Duck. "And what if we have the best picnic ever roasting marshmallows? " "Wow !" said Raccoon."Your. what- ifs are wonderful, Duck. " "What are we waiting for? "Raccoon cried, "let's go on a picnic!" "That's the spirit, Raccoon!"Duck cheered, " Just give me a few minutes to get ready. "said Raccoon. So Duck waited… And waited… And waited some more… Until finally Raccoon announced." OK, Duck. I'm ready to go.!"Oh, Raccoon ."Duck fell over laughing. "You worry too much.But I guess you are ready for anything. huh?" At last, the two friends left for their picnic. "Thanks ,Duck. "said Raccoon."This is much more fun than hiding under a blanket." "No problem." Said Duck ."Trust me, nothing could go wrong on a little picnic." But when they got there ,Duck gasped!" Oh, no!" Duck moaned. "I forgot the picnic basket !" Duck wanted to cry. But Raccoon stayed calm. "No problem ."Raccoon opening his backpack. "like you said…I'm ready for anything!"
26."Puppy Dog Eyes" May Have Evolved Just to Make Humans Melt - And It's Working狗的"無辜眼神"可能是為了萌化人類才進化出來的，顯然這招很奏效
You know how when your dog wants something, she makes that face? You know the one - all beseeching, with eyes that seem to positively quiver with longing? You'd give her anything, right?你知道你的狗狗想要某個東西時是故意做出那種表情的嗎？你知道那種閃耀著渴望的乞求的眼神嗎？她要什么你都愿意給，對吧？
It turns out that our response to canine looks of longing or love may be the very reason dogs can make them.研究發(fā)現(xiàn)我們對犬類這種渴求或愛的眼神的回應可能導致狗狗有那種眼神。
New research has found that the facial muscles involved in making these expressions can only be found in dogs, not wolves - suggesting our furry best friends evolved the ability specifically to communicate with humans.新的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)做這種表情牽動的面部肌肉只有狗狗有，狼就沒有，這就表明我們的毛茸茸的好朋友專門為了跟人類溝通而進化出了這種能力。
"The findings suggest that expressive eyebrows in dogs may be a result of human unconscious preferences that influenced selection during domestication," said behavioural psychologist Juliane Kaminski of the University of Portsmouth.樸茨茅斯大學的行為心理學家Juliane Kaminski說："研究結果表明人類馴化狗狗時無意識的選擇偏好導致狗狗有了富有表情的眉毛。" "When dogs make the movement, it seems to elicit a strong desire in humans to look after them. This would give dogs that move their eyebrows more, a selection advantage over others and reinforce the 'puppy dog eyes' trait for future generations." "狗狗做出這種表情時會激起人類強烈的照顧它們的欲望，這就促使狗狗更多地抖動眉毛，這也成為了一種選擇優(yōu)勢，使這種‘撒嬌眼神'成為了遺傳給后代的特征。"
Previously, Kaminski and her team have demonstrated that dogs do actually make facial expressions as a means of communicating with humans, by studying their behaviour when a human was facing towards them, compared to facing away.此前Kaminski和她的團隊證實了狗狗的確會把面部表情作為和人類溝通的一工具，他們研究了人面向狗狗和面向別處時狗狗的行為。
The team found that dogs used facial expressions far more when the human was looking at them.這個團隊發(fā)現(xiàn)人看著狗狗時它們的面部表情更多。 27.A little encouragement goes a long way.
A week ago I started running again for the first time in over a year.一周之前，我又開始長跑了，這是我罷跑一年多以后第一次跑步。 I've been pushing myself hard every single day.
這段時間以來，我每天都對自己非常苛刻Today I was running on a trail, and I passed a guy.我正在一條小路上跑步，偶然經(jīng)過一個男人身邊。 He made eye contact and gave me a thumbs up.
他和我對視了一樣，還對我豎起了大拇指。 I was running back, and I passed him again.
我往回跑的時候，又遇到了他。
This time he said "keep it up buddy."
這次，他對我說，"加油，伙計！"
I don't know why, but that was like rocket fuel.我不知道為什么，只覺得自己像是打了雞血一般。 I was almost blown up,我感到自己身體里元氣滿滿，簡直快要爆了but that got me going and I finished strong.但這也支持著我繼續(xù)跑下去，最后出色的完成了跑步的路程。
I saw him again on my last lap.
我跑最后一圈的時候，又看到了他。 He asked me about my goal for the day,他問我這一天的目標是什么and we talked for a second.我們還一起走了一會兒
He gave me some encouraging words
他對我說了一些鼓勵的話
and we moved on.
我們就各走各的路了。
It was a simple thing,這只是一件小事
but it made me push harder when I was ready to give in.但是當我想要放棄的時候，它告訴我要再推自己一把。
Point is, if you see someone out there working hard,我想說的是，如果你看到某人也正在拼搏
a little encouragement goes a long way.
一句小小的鼓勵一定會讓他受益良久
Try it out.
去試試吧！
28. live one day at a time.
I have the bad habit of skipping to the last pages of a book to see how it ends while I am still in the middle of it. This habit annoyed first my Mom, then my friends, and finally even my own daughter.我有一個換習慣就是看書看到一半，就翻到最后看結局。我的母親、我的朋友以及連我的女兒都很不喜歡我這樣。
Often my impatience wouldn't be confined just to the books I read but also to what they were reading as well. Finally one day my daughter told me in exasperation, "Dad please just read a book one page at a time like everyone else!"我是個急性子，不光我自己讀書這樣，我還管著別人讀書。最后我的女兒爆發(fā)了，"爸爸，你能不能像人家讀書一樣，每次就讀一頁！" At times I haven't limited this bad habit to just books either. I have also tried to skip ahead in my own life and figure out what to do months and even years from now instead of embracing each day as God intended.我的急性子不止在讀書這個方面。在生活中我也時不時的會這樣。想要知道未來幾個月甚至幾年要做什么，而不是像上天推崇的那樣享受當下。
I knew that the book of my life wasn't done yet and that I had many pages left to go. Still, that didn't stop me from trying to write the ending half-way through.我知道自己人生的這本書沒有結束，還有很多頁沒有讀。然而，我還會臆想結局。
Time and again, I would foolishly jump ahead and try to solve every conceivable problem before it happened so I could reach that storybook happily ever after ending.有時我總是愚蠢地想象著書中的結局，杞人憂天般的考慮著還沒發(fā)生的問題，我總是能很高興的自動帶入書中情節(jié)，不管書中結局怎樣。
Life, however, doesn't work like that. God loves to surprise us, and you never know what new problem, change, or opportunity each new day will bring.
然而生活不是這樣。上天喜歡給我們驚喜。每一天你都不會知道自己會遇上什么問題，改變或者機會。
Recently when I found myself returning to that bad habit of rushing ahead and living in the future again, I found His truth coming from the lips of a special soul who gently told me I needed to "live one day at a time."最近我發(fā)現(xiàn)這個心浮氣躁、活在未來的壞習慣又開始作祟。這時我隱隱的感覺到有個神秘的靈魂對我悄聲說著"活在當下"。
When I heard those words I smiled, turned the book of my life back to the right page, and thanked God for today.當我聽到這些話，我會心地笑了。感謝上天讓我領悟到如何將人生之書翻到正確的頁碼。
There is no skipping ahead in the book of life. Each of us has to live it one page and one day at a time. Each of us has to have faith in God to help us to write it line by line and moment by moment. Each of us has to trust that our Heavenly Father will bring our story to its perfect end.人生不可能像看書跳過開頭就到看到結尾一樣。人生一天一天度過，書也要一頁一頁讀。我們要深信上天會幫我們書寫人生，一行又一行，記錄我們的一刻又一刻。最終我們會在上天的引導之下將人生畫上完美的句號。
29.The Value of Time時間的價值
To realize the value of one year：Ask a student who has failed a final exam.要想知道一年的價值，那就去問期末考試不及格的學生。
To realize the value of one month：Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.要想知道一個月的價值，那就去問生了早產(chǎn)兒的母親。
To realize the value of one week：Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.要想知道一周的價值，那就去問周報的編輯。
To realize the value of one hour：Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.要想知道一小時的價值，那就去問等待見面的戀人。
To realize the value of one minute：Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.要想知道一分鐘的價值，那就去問誤了火車、汽車或者飛機的人。
To realize the value of one second：Ask a person who has survived an accident.要想知道一秒鐘的價值，那就去問大難不死的人。
To realize the value of one millisecond：Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.要想知道一毫秒的價值，那就去問奧運會獲得銀牌的人。
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
時間不等人，你擁有的每一刻都要珍惜。
30.The Father and his sons
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion；and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it。
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then addressed them in these words："My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies；but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks。"父親和兒子
一位父親有幾個孩子，這些孩子時常發(fā)生口角。他絲毫沒有辦法來勸阻他們，只好讓他們看看不合群所帶來害處的例子。為了達到這個目的，有一天他叫他們替他拿一捆細柴來。當他們把柴帶來時，他便先后地將那捆柴放在每一個孩子的手中，吩咐他們弄斷這捆柴。他們一個個盡力去試，總是不能成功。
然后他解開那捆柴，一根根地放在他們手里，如此一來，他們便毫不費力地折斷了。于是他就告訴他們說："孩子們！如果你們大家團結一致，互相幫助，你們就像這捆柴一樣，不能被你們的敵人折斷；但如果你們自行分裂，你們就將和這些散柴一般，不堪一折了。
31.Live Your Own Life
People always feel unsatisfied with themselves, because no matter what they do, they will be picky by others. If a girl wears a waistcoat, then some people will tell her that she is not suitable to wear such style because she is fat, then the girl changes her dressing style. When wearing a tight T-shit, still others will picky about her. The girl realizes that no matter what kind of clothes she wears, there always some people are picky about her, so she gives up to cater to them and dress for herself. Life is like this, we can't make everyone be satisfied, even our parents, but we can make ourselves happy. So just ignore what others have asked us to be, we live for ourselves and make our own decision. Don't feel sad when others question about you, just follow your heart.過自己的生活
人們總是不滿意自己，因為無論他們做什么都會被人挑剔。如果一個女孩穿著一件背心，就會有人會告訴她，她不適合穿這種風格，因為她太胖了，然后那個女孩改變她的穿衣風格，穿著緊身T恤，有些人還是會挑剔她。女孩意識到不管她穿什么樣的衣服，總是會有人挑剔她的，所以她放棄了迎合他們，隨心所欲的穿衣服。生活就是如此，我們做不到讓每個人都滿意，即使是父母也一樣，但我們可以讓自己開心。所以忽略別人對我們的要求，我們?yōu)樽约憾睿鲎约旱臎Q定。當別人質疑你的時候不要感到悲傷，跟隨自己的心就好。
32.The Man and the Opportunity
人與機會
The lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of a weak, vacillating mind. Opportunities! Every life is full of them.
意志脆弱優(yōu)柔寡斷的人，總是以缺乏機會作為借口。機會！在每個人的生活當中，無處不在！
Every lesson in school or college is an opportunity. Every examination is a chance in life. Every business transaction is an opportunity - an opportunity to be polite, an opportunity to be manly, an opportunity to be honest, an opportunity to make friends. Every proof of confidence in you is a great opportunity. Every responsibility thrust upon your strength and your honor is priceless. Existence is the privilege of effort, and when that privilege is met like a man, opportunities to succeed along the line of your aptitude will come faster than you can use them.
學校里的每一節(jié)課都是一次機會。每一場考試都是人生的契機。每一次商務往來都是一次機會--一次禮貌待人的機會，一次果敢行事的機會，一次誠實守信的機會，一次廣交朋友的機會。每一份對你的信任，對你都是一次莫大的機會�；谀愕牟鸥珊吐曂挠枘愕拿恳环葚熑�,都是無價的。生存是奮斗賦予的特權，而當你如男子漢一般邂逅那份殊榮時，一個個發(fā)揮你聰明才智、助你獲取成功的機會便會接踵而至，令你應接不暇。
Young men and women, why do you stand here all the day idle? Was the land all occupied before you were born? Has the earth ceased to yield its increase? Are the seats all taken? The positions all filled? The chances all gone? Are the resources of your country fully developed? Are the secrets of nature all mastered? Is there no way in which you can utilize these passing moments to improve yourself or benefit another? Don't wait for your opportunity. Make it, make it as Napoleon made his in a hundred "impossible" situations. Make it, as all leaders of men, in war and in peace, have made their chances of success. Make it, as every man must, who would accomplish anything worth the effort. Golden opportunities are nothing to laziness, but industry makes the commonest chances golden.
年輕人啊，為何你們整日裹足不前而虛擲光陰？難道在你們出生之前，每一寸土地都已被他人所占據(jù)？難道地球已不再繁衍生息？難道所有的席位都已另有歸屬？所有的職位都已人滿為患？所有的機會都一去不返？難道你國內的資源都已開發(fā)殆盡？難道大自然的奧秘都已了如指掌？難道你無法抓住這些轉瞬即逝的時機來改善自我或者造福他人？切莫株守機會。去創(chuàng)造它，正如拿破侖在無數(shù)次絕境中創(chuàng)造自己逢生的機會一樣。去創(chuàng)造它，正如戰(zhàn)爭或者和平年代的領袖們創(chuàng)造他們取得勝利的機會那樣。去創(chuàng)造它，人人必須如此，任何人都能獲得應有的回報。對于懶惰來講，天賜良機也會化為烏有；對于勤奮而言，即使是微不足道的機會，也會變得金光閃閃！
33.The Fisherman And the Goldfish
Once, there was a fisherman. He had an ugly wife. They were poor.
One day, the fisherman caught a goldfish. But the goldfish could talk, "Please let me go! I'll reward you." "OK, my God?" cried the fisherman, "Don't worry. I have no wish to eat a talking fish." So he puts it into the water. The fisherman went home and told his wife about it. She became very angry. "How foolish you are!" she said, "Look at the hut. Go back to the sea and tell the fish to give me a cottage." So the fisherman went down to the beach.
"What's the matter?" asked the fish.
"My wife wants to cottage." said the fisherman.
"Don't worry, she will have it."
So the fisherman's wife had her cottage.
But after a few days, she became tired of it. "Tell the fish to give me a palace." she said. Then the fisherman went back to the beach again. And the fisherman's wife had her palace.But she soon got tried of it, too. "Ask the fish to be my servant, and I want to be a queen." This time, the fish got angry. It said nothing and swam away.
The fisherman waited and waited, but the goldfish didn't come back. When he went home, he found his wife back in their old hut.
漁夫和金魚
從前，有一位漁夫，他又一個很丑的妻子。他們家里很窮。
一天，漁夫捕到一條金魚。但這條金魚會說話："請放我走吧！我會報答你的"
"啊，我的天啊！"漁夫吃驚地叫道，"別擔心，我不會吃一條會說話的魚的。"于是他把金魚放進了水里。
漁夫回家并把這件事告訴了他的妻子。妻子非常憤怒。
"你多愚蠢��！"她說："看看這個破草屋，到海邊去，向金魚要一間小木屋。"于是漁夫來到海邊。
"怎么啦？"金魚問。
"我的妻子想要一件小木屋。"漁夫說。
"別擔心，她會有的。"
漁夫的妻子得到了一間小木屋。
但過了幾天，她對此感到厭倦了："告訴金魚，讓它給我一座宮殿。"漁夫又返回海邊。他的妻子得到了一座宮殿。
但她很快又對此感到厭倦："去叫金魚做我的仆人，我想當女王。"這次，金魚變得憤怒了，它一句話也沒說就游走了。
漁夫等呀等，但金魚沒有回來。當他回家時，他看見他妻子又回到了茅屋。
34.The Fox and the Crow
One day a crow stood on a branch near his nest and felt very happy with the meat in his mouth. At that time, a fox saw the crow with the meat, so he swallowed and eagerly thought of a plan to get the meat. However, whatever the fox said to the crow, the crow just kept silent. Until the fox thought highly of the crow's beautiful voice, the crow felt flattered and opened his mouth to sing. As soon as the meat fell down to the ground, the fox took the meat and went into his hole.
狐貍和烏鴉
有一天,一只烏鴉站在窩旁的樹枝上嘴里叼著一片肉，心里非常高興。這時候，一只狐貍看見了烏鴉，饞得直流口水，非常想得到那片肉。但是，無論狐貍說什么，烏鴉就是不理睬狐貍。最后，狐貍贊美烏鴉的嗓音最優(yōu)美，并要求烏鴉唱幾句讓他欣賞欣賞。烏鴉聽了狐貍贊美的話，得意極了，就唱起歌來。沒想到，肉一掉下來，狐貍就叼起肉，鉆回了洞。
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